The Resignation Letter.....
A Boss looking through his Mail Box was astonished to see a mail from an Employee who was supposed to be busy working at Client side on a critical project. It had the subject - "TaTa - Bye Bye". With the worst premonition he opened the mail and read the content with trembling hands:-
Dear Sir,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving the job. The offer was too lucrative and attractive for me to turn down. I had to abscond because I wanted to avoid a scene with the HR and you. I am sorry but I had no choice.
The project is working fine. There are only 108 issues pending, out of which only 38% issues are High Priority. Hence I am sure there is no need to worry about. The next Phase of major enhancements I have been working upon, have been completed halfway. I am sure the new person who would replace me would not understand what all I had done so far. Hence, for his and your convenience, I have taken care to remove all the work that I had been doing this far for nearly 3 months now. I am sure you will appreciate my insight and "big heart".
I am of course retaining the Originals that I had retrieved for the purpose of Passport verification with me, considering it as a parting gift from you. Of course, I will not pay the bond amount that I owe the company (since I Am breaking the bond). But I will consider this as a parting gift from our Dear company. I moving out of town since the new company is situated in another City.
Also, I have changed my contact number. So you will not be able to get in touch with me, to congratulate me. But I know your blessings are always with me. Last but not the least. I also have the Rs 12000 entrusted to me by our company's cultural events group, for the upcoming movie event. I am sure you would have wanted me to keep it with myself as an added bonus from our company. I respect you very much, hence your wish is my command.
Don't worry sir. I am 2 years experienced now, learning so much from your company. So I will surely use this knowledge to write better programs for the new company. Someday I'm sure we will meet sometime in the future. If you wish, I will surely be glad to give my employee reference for you to apply for a job in the new company which I am joining.
Your faithful employee,
S. W. Engineer
At the bottom of the page were the letters "PS". Hands still trembling, the Boss read:
PS: Dearest Boss, none of the above is true. I'm am still busy working at client side. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my "Request to reconsider my Salary Appraisal" attached with this mail. Please approve it and call when it is safe for me to come to our Office to discuss this.
My respect and Best Regards to you!
Dear Sir,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving the job. The offer was too lucrative and attractive for me to turn down. I had to abscond because I wanted to avoid a scene with the HR and you. I am sorry but I had no choice.
The project is working fine. There are only 108 issues pending, out of which only 38% issues are High Priority. Hence I am sure there is no need to worry about. The next Phase of major enhancements I have been working upon, have been completed halfway. I am sure the new person who would replace me would not understand what all I had done so far. Hence, for his and your convenience, I have taken care to remove all the work that I had been doing this far for nearly 3 months now. I am sure you will appreciate my insight and "big heart".
I am of course retaining the Originals that I had retrieved for the purpose of Passport verification with me, considering it as a parting gift from you. Of course, I will not pay the bond amount that I owe the company (since I Am breaking the bond). But I will consider this as a parting gift from our Dear company. I moving out of town since the new company is situated in another City.
Also, I have changed my contact number. So you will not be able to get in touch with me, to congratulate me. But I know your blessings are always with me. Last but not the least. I also have the Rs 12000 entrusted to me by our company's cultural events group, for the upcoming movie event. I am sure you would have wanted me to keep it with myself as an added bonus from our company. I respect you very much, hence your wish is my command.
Don't worry sir. I am 2 years experienced now, learning so much from your company. So I will surely use this knowledge to write better programs for the new company. Someday I'm sure we will meet sometime in the future. If you wish, I will surely be glad to give my employee reference for you to apply for a job in the new company which I am joining.
Your faithful employee,
S. W. Engineer
At the bottom of the page were the letters "PS". Hands still trembling, the Boss read:
PS: Dearest Boss, none of the above is true. I'm am still busy working at client side. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my "Request to reconsider my Salary Appraisal" attached with this mail. Please approve it and call when it is safe for me to come to our Office to discuss this.
My respect and Best Regards to you!
Listening to Adobe Content.....
You can listen to any PDF FILES instead of reading with Adobe Reader 6 or 7 and the short cuts are :
Ctrl + Shift + B - to hear the entire Document
Ctrl + Shift + V - to hear the page
Ctrl + Shift + C - to resume
Ctrl + Shift + E - to stop
Open any PDF File and test.... unbelievable....................
Where's My Husband???
KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters) - A Malaysian woman woke up to a real-life nightmare, discovering that the naked man who had slipped into her bed in the middle of the night was a thief, not her husband, a newspaper said on Tuesday.
The 36-year-old housewife was asleep when the thief, noticing that her husband was fast asleep on the couch, quietly stripped off and lay down beside her, the Star newspaper said, quoting a police report filed in the eastern state of Terengganu.
The dozing woman's suspicions were raised when she spoke to him and his voice sounded strange, the paper said.
"She then went to another room and found her husband fast asleep on the couch. That's when she screamed, causing the thief to flee by leaping out the window together with the stolen items," it added.
More Management Lessons....
A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
Lesson I - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window: "I want to open a damn checking account." To which the astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open a damn checking account right now!" "I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank." Having said this, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her problem customer. They both return and the manager asks the old geezer: "What seems to be the problem here?" "There's no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says. "I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!" "I see," says the manager thoughtfully. "And you're saying that this bitch here is giving you a hard time?"
Lesson II - If you are RICH, you can get away with almost anything.
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of ese are you?" Confused, the Japanese replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?" Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you...Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc......???" The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese." A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of 'key' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of '-key' am I?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"
Lesson III - Never insult anyone.
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, a British and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted," VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is the British. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, SHIT!!!!!!!........."
Lesson IV - Think twice before you say something, because sometimes what you say accidentally does happen.
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each" So , the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff, and he was gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted " I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff, and he was also gone. The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch"
Lesson V - "Always allow the bosses to speak first
Sardarji - Barah Baj gaye......
I was standing at Jalandhar station when my attention went towards a Sikh youth standing near me wearing a Black turban having a long beard and wearing a kirpan over his shirt. After a while, one local train arrived, which was totally packed. The Sikh youth tried to alight the train but he failed to do so. Just then a voice was heard from the back coach 'Sardarji Barah Baj gaye' (SARDARJI it's 12 o'clock!)
The Sikh youth looked over at that voice maker who was a young mischievous type of person and instead of showing any anger he smiled at him. The smile made was so enigmatic that it seemed as if some type of truth lies behind it. Not able to resist my temptation, I walked towards him and asked why did he smile at that person who teased him. The Sikh youth replied , 'He was not teasing me but was asking for my Help'. I was surprised with these words and he told me that there was a history behind that which one should know.
I was eager to know the History and the Sikh youth narrated:
"During 17th Century, when Hindustan was ruled by Mughals, all the non-muslims were humiliated and were treated like animals. Mughals treated the Hindu women as there own property and no Hindu was ready to challenge.
Our 10th Guruji! , Sri Guru Gobind Singhji (Son of Guru Teg Bahadarji) founder of Khalsa made a resolution that he would convert his followers to such human beings who would not be able to hide themselves and could be easily located even with crowd of thousands of people.
At the start, the Sikhs were very few in numbers as they were fighting against the Mughal Emperor and his local Governors/Administrators. At that time, Nadir Shah raided Delhi in the year 1739 and looted India and was carrying lot of Hindustan treasures and over 2500 Hindu women along with him. The route of these attackers was always through Punjab.
The news spread like a fire and was heard by Sardar Jassa Singh who was the Commander of the Sikh army at that time. He decided to attack Nadir Shah's Kafila (returning troops) on the same midnight, taking advantage of darkness. He did so and rescued virtually all the Hindu women and they were safely sent to their homes.
It didn't happen only once but thereafter whenever any Abdaalis or Iranis had attacked and looted Hindustan and were trying to carry the treasures and Indian women along with them for selling them in Abdal markets, the Sikh army, although very much fewer in numbers but were brave hearted, invariably attacked them at midnight,12 O'clock and rescued the women.
After that time when there occurred a similar incident, people started to contact the Sikh army for their help and Sikhs used to attack the raider's at Midnight, 12 O'clock.
The Sikh youth looked over at that voice maker who was a young mischievous type of person and instead of showing any anger he smiled at him. The smile made was so enigmatic that it seemed as if some type of truth lies behind it. Not able to resist my temptation, I walked towards him and asked why did he smile at that person who teased him. The Sikh youth replied , 'He was not teasing me but was asking for my Help'. I was surprised with these words and he told me that there was a history behind that which one should know.
I was eager to know the History and the Sikh youth narrated:
"During 17th Century, when Hindustan was ruled by Mughals, all the non-muslims were humiliated and were treated like animals. Mughals treated the Hindu women as there own property and no Hindu was ready to challenge.
Our 10th Guruji! , Sri Guru Gobind Singhji (Son of Guru Teg Bahadarji) founder of Khalsa made a resolution that he would convert his followers to such human beings who would not be able to hide themselves and could be easily located even with crowd of thousands of people.
At the start, the Sikhs were very few in numbers as they were fighting against the Mughal Emperor and his local Governors/Administrators. At that time, Nadir Shah raided Delhi in the year 1739 and looted India and was carrying lot of Hindustan treasures and over 2500 Hindu women along with him. The route of these attackers was always through Punjab.
The news spread like a fire and was heard by Sardar Jassa Singh who was the Commander of the Sikh army at that time. He decided to attack Nadir Shah's Kafila (returning troops) on the same midnight, taking advantage of darkness. He did so and rescued virtually all the Hindu women and they were safely sent to their homes.
It didn't happen only once but thereafter whenever any Abdaalis or Iranis had attacked and looted Hindustan and were trying to carry the treasures and Indian women along with them for selling them in Abdal markets, the Sikh army, although very much fewer in numbers but were brave hearted, invariably attacked them at midnight,12 O'clock and rescued the women.
After that time when there occurred a similar incident, people started to contact the Sikh army for their help and Sikhs used to attack the raider's at Midnight, 12 O'clock.
This historic fact was the reason which made me smile at that person as I thought that his Mother, wife or Sister may be in trouble and wants my help and was reminding me by saying " Sardarji Barah Baj Gaye"
Anything for the car !!!!!!
Press play and then pause immediately. Wait for a minute before you play the video to enable enough buffering. This will help in a smooth viewing.
Leave Applications!!!
See, how people write leave Applications in English. It's really,really Funny......
Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows: "Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave."
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This is from Oracle Bangalore: >from an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head off, please leave me for two days..."
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Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding: "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
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From H.A.L. Administration Dept: "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
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Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
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An incident of a leave letter: "I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."
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A leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me "
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Another leave letter written to the headmaster: "As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
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Another one: "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."
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Actual letter written for application of leave: "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
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Letter writing:- "I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."
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A candidate's job application: "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.
Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows: "Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave."
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This is from Oracle Bangalore: >from an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head off, please leave me for two days..."
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Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding: "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
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From H.A.L. Administration Dept: "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
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Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
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An incident of a leave letter: "I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."
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A leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me "
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Another leave letter written to the headmaster: "As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
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Another one: "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."
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Actual letter written for application of leave: "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
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Letter writing:- "I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."
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A candidate's job application: "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.
Lessons For Life....
Quotations by Chanakya
- A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and Honest people are victimised first."
- "Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."
- "The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. ! It will destroy you."
- "There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no Friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."
- "Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."
- "As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it."
- "Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest."
- "The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction."
- "A man is great by deeds, not by birth."
- "Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends."
- "Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person."
- "Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth."
e-mail ettiquette
Email communication is a critical part of our work and there is an urgent need to ensure that every email sent communicates the right things to necessary stakeholders. Hence effective communication has become the need of the hour for better results. A few practical tips to achieve this are listed below.....
- Try to keep the email brief (one screen length).
- Return emails within the same time you would a phone call.
- Avoid discussing private concerns and issues.
- Avoid using reply to all while responding to an email.
- Match the subject heading appropriately with content
- Send email only to individuals from whom you require an action.
- The individuals marked in CC list should be for information only.
- Type the message in upper/lower case not all caps.
- Break text into logical paragraphs and keep sentences short.
- Avoid blaming statements.
- Avoid ambiguous statements.
- Do not surprise the receiver by listing the concerns you have been harboring for a long period of time.
- Your message may be misunderstood, please resist the urge to send, Review the content before it is irreversible.
- There are times when you need to take your discussion out of the virtual world and make a phone call.
- If things become very heated, a lot of misunderstanding occurs, or when you are delivering very delicate news then the best way is still face-to face.
Heart Stroke.....
Remember The 1st Three Letters. . . S.T.R.
STROKE IDENTIFICATION : During a Barbecue, a friend stumbled and took a little fall. She assured everyone that she was fine and had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. (they had offered to call paramedics). They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food and while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid 's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital. (at 6:00 PM, Ingrid passed away).
She had suffered a stroke at the Barbecue. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead. A neurologist stated that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.
RECOGNIZING A STROKE : Remember the '3' steps S. T. R. Read and Learn! Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke. Now Doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
S* Ask the individual to 'Smile.'
T* Ask the person to 'talk,' to 'speak a simple sentence in a fluent manner . ( i.e., It is a sunny day today).
R* Ask them to 'Raise Both Arms'.
NOTE: Another sign of a stroke is this:Ask the person to 'stick out' their tongue. If the tongue is 'crooked' that is if it goes to one side of the mouth or the other, it is an indication of a stroke. If they have trouble with 'any one' of these it is an indication of a stroke.
Barbarianism!!!
I came across this very moving message.... please please please spread this to wherever and whoever you can, even if it helps in saving one of these animals....
____________________________________________________________________
This is me.... A Baby Seal..
Norway and Canada have a new kind of tourism. Killing baby seals!!!! They call it 'hunting' and it's a sport.....
You want to call this sport ?? Is he a sportsman???
Why??? What have we done to you???
You're our only hope !!!
Please make it stop. This barbarism shouldn't be possible in our society!!!!
Don't turn your back on us, we are so defenseless, we have no guns, please please help us..!!!
What gives him the right to kill us. Who is he to decide about our life and death ??
What kind of sport is this..?? I didn't harm anyone..!! I was just swimming around doing nothing, now I'm dead...!!!!!
Please help me and my friends...!!!
Please help us...!!
Please don't leave us alone...!!
After all....don't we have a right to live as much as you??
____________________________________________________________________
This is me.... A Baby Seal..
Norway and Canada have a new kind of tourism. Killing baby seals!!!! They call it 'hunting' and it's a sport.....
You want to call this sport ?? Is he a sportsman???
Why??? What have we done to you???
You're our only hope !!!
Please make it stop. This barbarism shouldn't be possible in our society!!!!
Don't turn your back on us, we are so defenseless, we have no guns, please please help us..!!!
What gives him the right to kill us. Who is he to decide about our life and death ??
What kind of sport is this..?? I didn't harm anyone..!! I was just swimming around doing nothing, now I'm dead...!!!!!
Please help me and my friends...!!!
Please help us...!!
Please don't leave us alone...!!
After all....don't we have a right to live as much as you??
Vanilla Ice Cream that puzzled General Motors
Many of you, unlike me, might have come across this long ago, as it is in circulation for years now. But I just received it today and was spellbound by the incident. For those who are not aware of it, it goes like this –
Never underestimate your Clients’ Complaint, no matter how funny it might seem!
This is a real story that happened between the customer of General Motors and its Customer-Care Executive. Please read on…..
A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:
‘This is the second time I have written to you, and I don’t blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of Ice-Cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we’ve eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It’s also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem….
You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice-cream, when I start back from the store my car won’t start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I’m serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds “What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?” The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the letter, but sent an Engineer to check it out anyway.
The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well educated man in a fine neighborhood. He had arranged to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice cream store. It was vanilla ice cream that night and, sure enough, after they came back to the car, it wouldn’t start.
The Engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.
Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man’s car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And toward this end he began to take notes: He jotted down all sorts of data: time of day, type of gas uses, time to drive back and forth etc.
In a short time, he had a clue: the man took less time to buy vanilla than any other flavor. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavor, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavors were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavor.
Now, the question for the Engineer was why the car wouldn’t start when it took less time. Eureka - Time was now the problem - not the vanilla ice cream!!!! The engineer quickly came up with the answer: “vapor lock”.
It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the other flavors allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the vapor lock to dissipate!!!
Even crazy looking problems are sometimes real and all problems seem to be simple only when we find the solution, with cool thinking.
Management Case Studies
Management Case Study No.1
The manager of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the Doctor told him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do. The farmer told him to clean the shit of the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody coming from the city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it will take over a week to finish the job, but to his surprise the manager finished the job in less than one day.
The next day the farmer gave to the manager a more difficult job: to cut the heads of 500 chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager will not be able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done. The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box with small potatoes, and one box with big potatoes.
At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the potatoes bag, but the two boxes were empty. The farmer asked the manager: "How is that you did such difficult jobs during the first days, and now you cannot do this simple job?"
The manager answered: "Listen, all my life I'm cutting heads and dealing with shit, but now you ask me to make decisions!"
Management Case Study No.2
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, "the parrot on the left costs 500 dollars". "Why does the parrot cost so much," asks the man. The shop owner says, "well, the parrot knows how to use a computer".
The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs = 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system. Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third Parrot to be told that it costs 2,000 dollars.
Needless to say this begs the question, "What can it do?" To which the shop owner replies, "to be honest I have never seen it do a thing, but the other two call him boss!"
The manager of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the Doctor told him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do. The farmer told him to clean the shit of the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody coming from the city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it will take over a week to finish the job, but to his surprise the manager finished the job in less than one day.
The next day the farmer gave to the manager a more difficult job: to cut the heads of 500 chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager will not be able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done. The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box with small potatoes, and one box with big potatoes.
At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the potatoes bag, but the two boxes were empty. The farmer asked the manager: "How is that you did such difficult jobs during the first days, and now you cannot do this simple job?"
The manager answered: "Listen, all my life I'm cutting heads and dealing with shit, but now you ask me to make decisions!"
Management Case Study No.2
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, "the parrot on the left costs 500 dollars". "Why does the parrot cost so much," asks the man. The shop owner says, "well, the parrot knows how to use a computer".
The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs = 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system. Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third Parrot to be told that it costs 2,000 dollars.
Needless to say this begs the question, "What can it do?" To which the shop owner replies, "to be honest I have never seen it do a thing, but the other two call him boss!"
Weekend Crazies!!!!
This is normally what happens on a Friday and a Monday.....Check this out...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cevs63S5XLo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cevs63S5XLo
Applause for British Airway's - What a story!!!!!!!
This scene took place on a British Airways flight between Johannesburg, South Africa & London.A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man.Very disturbed by this, she called the air hostess. "You obviously do not see it then?" she asked. "You placed me next to a black man.I did not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat."
"Be calm please," the hostess replied. "Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available."The hostess went away & then came back a few minutes later."Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in Economy Class.I spoke to the captain & he informed me that there is also no seat in Business Class. All the same, we still have one place in First Class."
Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued. "It is unusual for our company to permit someone from Economy Class to sit in First Class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting." She turned to the black guy & said, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in First Class."
At that moment, the other passengers, who'd been shocked by what they had just witnessed, stood up & applauded.
WELL DONE, British Airways !!!!
"Be calm please," the hostess replied. "Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available."The hostess went away & then came back a few minutes later."Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in Economy Class.I spoke to the captain & he informed me that there is also no seat in Business Class. All the same, we still have one place in First Class."
Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued. "It is unusual for our company to permit someone from Economy Class to sit in First Class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting." She turned to the black guy & said, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in First Class."
At that moment, the other passengers, who'd been shocked by what they had just witnessed, stood up & applauded.
WELL DONE, British Airways !!!!
A place above the Clouds.....
A friend told me about this place called Kalavaara Halli and the mountain is called Kalavaarahalli Betta (also called as Skanda Giri). It is near Chikkaballapura (70 km from Bangalore).
The pictures look fabulous...Maybe 1 day soon I will go here for a holiday...
The pictures look fabulous...Maybe 1 day soon I will go here for a holiday...
FACT Files : ( Thanks to Pinaki Roy)
This place is called Kalavaara Halli and the mountain is called Kalavaarahalli Betta (also called as Skanda Giri). It is located near Chikkaballapura - a small town under Bangalore rural district. Height -- about 1750m from sea level.
Distance .. . From Bangalore 70+ kms From Nearest Town/Medical Help : Chikkaballapura Nearest Airport/ Railway station: Bangalore
The Route(Getting there): There are 2 routes to kalawara betta. One is take a turn towards Nandi Hills and go further to Kalawara Village crossing Muddenahalli. This is shorter route than the one from Chikaballapur. Second one is to go to chikaballapur and then to kalawaraVillage. From KalawaraVillage ask for Omkara Jyoti Ashrama / Papagni Mutt. There is a shiva temple and vehicles can be parked there. This is at the base of the Hills. Nandi to Kalawara to Papagni Mutt is 6 kms Chikaballapur to papagni Mutt is 3 kms.
Level of Trekking: Moderate
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