MIND YOUR LANGUAGE.....

For those of us who are not native english speakers and have difficulties expressing ourselves..... Have fun with these notices.....
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• Doctors' office, Rome: "SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES."
  
  
• Dry cleaners, Bangkok: "DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS."
  
  
• In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER."
  
  
• On an Indian river highway: "TAKE NOTICE - WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE."
  
  
• In a City restaurant: "OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS."
  
  
• A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: "DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS."
  
  
  In a cemetery: "PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY, BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES."
  
  
• Tokyo hotel's rules ad regulations: "GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIORS IN BED."
  
  
• On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR."
  
  
• In a Tokyo bar: "SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS."
  
  
• Hotel in Yugoslavia: "THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
  
  
• Hotel in Japan: "YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID. "
  
  
• In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: "YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY."
  
  
• A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: "IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE."
  
  
• Hotel in Zurich : "BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THISPURPOSE."
  
  
• Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand : "WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?"
  
  
• In the window on a Swedish furrier: "FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN."
  
  
• The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong : "GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE."
  
  
• In a Swiss mountain Inn:> > "SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM."
  
  
• Airline ticket office inCopenhagen : "WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS."
  
  
• A laundry in Rome: "LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME."