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To Fly or Not to Fly !!!!!


People in the airline industry aren't all serious...


1. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude And will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."


2. Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if You can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."


3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."


4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"


5. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."


6. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, alone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"


7. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."


8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."


9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."


10. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."


11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."


12. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."


13. And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"


14. Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was Quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."


15. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the flight attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"


16. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."


17. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no,Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or Were we shot down?"


18. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on the horn, " Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."


19. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we Hope you'll think of US Airways."


20. A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude the Captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to flight number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD! Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I Scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"



Leave Your Bad Day at Work.....


We all have them: those days when nothing goes right. To avoid taking the stress home, try doing three things at the end of a bad day:

Clear your mind: Take a few deep breaths. Think about the things that matter to you outside of work. Prepare yourself mentally to walk out the door and leave the day behind.

Do something easy: Send off a report, reconcile a balance sheet, or reply to a few straightforward e-mails. Get some things off your to-do list to restore a sense of control.

Get up and leave: Once you've completed the task, don't check your email once more or stop by someone's desk. Just leave.


Courtsey : Guide to Managing Stress

Ladies.... Enjoy!!!

Hoteliers are smart people !!!!


A Shy young Guy goes to a Bar & sees a beautiful Girl sitting alone. He gathers some courage, goes to her and asks: ''Would u mind if I sit beside you?''

She responds loudly: ''NO!!! I don't want to spend the night with YOU!!!"

Everyone in the Bar turns and stares at this guy. He is shocked and embarrassed and goes back to his table.  After a Few minutes the same girl slowly walks up to him, apologises and says, ''I'm a student of Psychology and I am studying how people respond to embarrasing situations!!''

The guy responds loudly: ''WHAT?? 3,000 Rupees for a single night!!!! That's too MUCH! Every one now stares at the Girl.

The guy whispers in her ear :

''Don't Play Games with a hotelier lady, WE RULE THE WORLD''.....



My Lessons in life.....


'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'


'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.'


'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'


'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'


'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'


'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back...'


'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'


'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'


'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back...'


'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn...'


'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'